The boys and girls come out to play

When the boss is not around?

A) Do the mice come out to play
B) Take MC
C) Work harder

D) Sacrifice a lamb and give thanks!

Answers:
the smaller boss picked B

the others picked D

Mind your language

Have you gone for an English class as an adult?

I have! And I had thoroughly enjoyed it just because it was competitive! Yeah I know, so kiasu right - but hey I'm attending an ENGLISH class for adults alright! It's got to make me feel the very least interested!

So, what did I get out of that session, really?

Well this can’t seem to leave my head.It cracks me up whenever I think of it.

One fine day on an airplane, the passengers were served fishballs. As part of the air stewardess's job, she had to bend down to maintain eye level with the passenger who so happened to be a 'mat salleh', to ask him which sauce he preferred to go with the fishballs.

This was how she asked while looking intensely into his eyes “Sir, may I sauce your balls?”

She lost her job the next day. Mind you it’s a true story.

“Little Jack Honor” Put In His Thumb and Pulled Out A Pink Bag

Hi Coffee-O,

Seven months ago, I bought an interesting looking handbag at Central Market for a mere RM35. It looked kind of trendy and compact, so I thought that it would be nice and handy to have. However, I forgot that I haven’t been having much luck with handbags lately. Before I got this one, I had a nice trendy black one which was on 70 percent discount. Considering the price of the bag was almost RM200 before the discount, I figured that I had myself a deal of a lifetime. Unfortunately after just 1 month, one of the handle rings got busted. I thought I could put up with it, but the following month, the other handle ring busted. So I had TWO busted handle rings and one beautiful bag. It really HURTS, to even think about it now!

Then I got the RM35 bag from Central Market, however, I guess bag handles and I don’t really get along well. This one also got busted after seven months. At least the RM35 lasted for seven months! In the light of that, I’ve been carrying around a bright pink handbag to work. How did that happen? When my bag handle broke, I was getting ready for work and my little toddler was asleep in the room, hence not to wake her up I groped around the cupboard in the dark and pulled out my little pink “plum” bag. So it had to do!

Reminds me of how “Little Jack Honor sat in a corner, eating his Christmas pie, he put in his thumb and pulled out a plumb and said what a good boy am I.”

Today, I bought myself another cheapo bag for RM33. Sigh….I guess I still haven’t learnt my lesson with cheap handbags. Well at least this gives me an opportunity to change handbags every few months. Don’t know which is worse….spending a couple of hundred ringgit and getting a branded handbag which will last me 3 years or going with all these cheapo fashionable bags. Anyway like I said, I need an excuse to change handbags…. and some what penny wise pound foolish as well.

Missy Red

Who Says Toilet Bowls Can’t Be Recycled?

Hi Coffee-O,

I have been busy, or rather in a frenzy with the renovations in my house. By the way, I am renovating my bathroom and skim coating my living room walls. Why am I doing that? Ok let me get into some background info here for you.

When I bought the house I didn’t notice that the ninkampoop (is that how you spell it?) who owned it before me sandblasted the whole house with oil-based paint. So good ol’ me bought the house and planned to happily give it a new coat of paint and move in. However, when I got the keys and looked at the house again, this time in more detail, I noticed the sandblasting and boy, oh, boy have I had hell with it since then. First, my husband and I thought we can be DIY heroes and scrap off the sandblasting. We only managed to do the living room and got sick after that. Then we painted the wall but soon to our horror we noticed the walls resembled somebody with a bad case of acne. It was riddled with holes, scrapes, scars and dents. So we called several contactors to quote us on skimming work and opened ourselves up to cut throat prices.

Anyway, my mother in law recommended her contractor, to not only skim my house but also renovate my bathroom. However, I soon learned that the guy worked really slowly and tried to get my maid to elope with him. However, wonder maid turned down his advances – lucky for me. He managed to finish the one-day skimming job in five days and painted my living room. Ok, I got to admit it – he did a good job of the skimming although it was at snail’s pace.

Now let’s get to my bathroom, he ripped the bathroom apart and left it like that for 5 days – by the way it’s still bare and unusable. Then he tells us he’s not sure on fixing the plumbing and wants to charge us more for the job since it’s a big bathroom. Sometimes, I think he’s scheming with my mother-in-law to rip me off and share the loot with her.

Ok, on that note, my mother-in-law asked me if she can have my old toilet bowl and sink. I cannot fathom for the life of me how she could ask for somebody else’s poo stained toilet bowl and stained 18-year old sink. By the way my house is 18 years old! She said it can be disinfected and used in her house. She’s going to get this guy to install it for her there. She was adamant about having it even after my husband told her that more than a hundred people would have pooped in that bowl over a span of 18 years.

So ladies and gentlemen, toilet bowls can also be RE-CYCLED!

Anyway, I am going to give this guy the sack since he did not complete my bathroom and seems pretty unsure about the plumbing. Somebody pleaaaasssseee remind me never to listen to my mother-in-law again. So I am on the look out for a contractor now to fix my toilet.

If that’s not all, I also found out that my toilet is non-standard. Toilet bowls go by 10,11 or 12 inches in measurement but mine is 21 inches. Is this a test from above? I can only get one type of toilet bowl from this company called Econax, which I had to order.

Now I am afraid to renovate any other portion of my house, lest I find something odd again.

I’ll be back with part 2 of my renovation story.

Ciao!

Missy Red.

Got cheek to take!

Dear readers,

The other day, both MissyRed and I decided to have lunch at Secret Recipe and so we had lunch there. (haha I like this sentence)

The waitress gave us a cup of water each followed by our main course. Then MissyRed got a call - she was asked to do a favor. Well what kinda favor? ala you know those bulan puasa kind of favors tak kira from Adam (hehehe) or Hawa. Anyway this is not the crux of the story :)

To continue, we ate, chatted and ate till we were ready to go. So we got up and headed for the cake counter. While selecting which cake to take-away, MissyRed noticed she didn’t have her purple phone with her, so she quickly sped off to the table to check – I’ve not seen her dash off so fast! Literally at the speed of lightning!

The table was occupied.

Within 3 minutes the table was occupied.

a) Really good business at Secret Recipe

b) Secret Recipe’s staff is super efficient in clearing the table

c) There was an early Raya gift lying on the table

We looked high and low for her purple phone but to no avail.

We asked the waiters.

We asked the staff at the cashier.

We called the phone to see if it’s ringing. It was! but we couldn’t here it ringing – the place was quite noisy with the afternoon crowd coming in for lunch. AND NOBODY ANSWERED the call.

We went back to the table and uplift the cushion padding to check.

We searched the floor.

We just couldn’t find it.

So now where can her purple phone be?

We went back to the office.

Called the phone again. It was still ringing.

After 1 hour. The call went into voice mail.

So who took the purple phone? Shoot the bugger!

This post is written in remembrance of MissyRed’s purple phone - Sayonara

pinky and the brain

Dear Missy Red,

I don’t know why this song is stuck in my head. Probably it’s because of this situation I’m facing at the moment with two dumb idiots – which the song appropriately describes the two characters as “ one is an idiot, the other insane”.

Help me!

Need a cuppa coffee now

Why do we need em bras

Dear MissyRed,

Got to give it to my husband for figuring out why bras are needed - if women go without bras the streets would be filled with either melons or papayas ...
the more blessed ones would be seen dragging along two huge melons on the streets and the slightly less blessed ones would be displaying two papayas drooping and dangling around their knees.

Of Bras & Canon Balls

Hi Coffee-O,


Yesterday, somebody asked me “Who invented bras?” because to some the apparel is inconvenient, too tight and totally unnecessary. Well, some don’t need them because they have compact little buds but others who are well endowed can’t go without them because then there would be rubber canon balls bouncing every time one makes the slightest movement. Then one can’t walk…..one would have to GLIDE.

Let me share this story with you:

An elderly couple were having breakfast naked on their wedding anniversary. They were naked because on the first morning after their wedding, they had breakfast together naked so in memory of that, they re-enacted the experience.

The wife told the husband, “You know, darling, I still feel that same warm tingly feeling that I felt years ago on our first morning as a married couple”.

To which the husband replied, “Honey, that’s because your teats are in the coffee.”

Get it?

So that’s why we need bras, so that we don’t end up like the wife in the story above. I don’t think I like the idea of boobs as knee pads either.


Missy Red

High School Musical’s Gotta Go Your Own Way

Hi Coffee – O,

You know yesterday, my big boss came over with some inspiration to share with me. He switched on his walkman and said that I should listen to the song from High School Musical entitled “Gotta Go Your Own Way”. Now, may I ask – what impression does that give?

1. He is telling me to pack my stuff and go my own way.
2. He’s trying to inspire me to consider music as a choice of career.???
3. He thinks I am dumb enough to not listen to the lyrics and be inspired by the catchy music. In other words, he thinks I am just plain STUPID.

Anyway, here’s some of the lyrics to help you make a choice for me….

Gotta say what's on my mind. Something about us, doesn't seem right... these days. Life keeps getting in the way. Whenever we try, somehow the plan is always rearranged. It's so hard to say, but I gotta do what's best for me. You'll be okay...

Later he called to ask if I was inspired….and I said “oh yes….thank you. I was inspired to look for another job.” Then he goes, “ohhhh noooooo…..don’t get me wrong….i actually meant to share with you Sade’s song.”

By the way, the song by Sade that was on his walkman is entitled “I miss you”. Let’s analyse the lyrics here now:

Step off the train, walking down your street againPassed your door, but you don't live there anymoreIt's years since you've been there, and now you've disappeared somewhereTo outta space, you've found some better place(chorus):And I miss you, like the deserts miss the rainAnd I miss you, oh, like the deserts miss the rainCould you be dead? You always were two steps aheadAnd eveyrone, would walk behind where you would runI look up at your house, I can almost hear you shout down to me, where I always used to be(chorus):And I miss you, like the deserts miss the rainAnd I miss you, like the deserts miss the rain ...

Now, honestly what does that tell you again?

1. He asked me to “step off the train” – aka “get lost”.
2. He wants me dead. Apparently, the song seems to be for somebody who died.
3. He sincerely misses me – he hasn’t seen me for half a day because his office is located in the wing across the hallway from my workstation.

Hmmm…..

What’s your best bet on this?

Missy Red

women oh women

“Women hold up half the sky,” in the words of a Chinese saying yet half or probably more than half of the female population can’t stand each other.

Why oh why?

Loophole

Apparently there is a loophole in our internal database system। So with the loophole – you can create a new you। The system would capture whatever you wish to put in... say if you feel like one day you’ve completed a Phd in forestry from Oxford, feel free to put that into your profile। It’s that easy!

Management is shouting about this latest value benefit for staff। Have you seen your personal file? Here is your chance to have a peek at your profile now। And in return all you have to do is just make sure your profile is updated. Just click here and there and there and enter everything that’s relevant about you. And since it’s YOURS – your own personal file no one else is going to do that for you. So do it!

Hurrah for us staff- FREEDOM! But of course managers would then need to put up with loads of unnecessary work from the many highly ambitious or rather highly imaginative staff like me!

Should I reward my manager with a present today? Coz today I feel like earning like a senior manager. Can I update that into the system?

Oh since we are on the same topic, I wonder if the system was able to capture this. Today there were two MissyReds that stepped into the office. Yes two. I didn’t bring my name tag in today so MissyRed had to use her tag to open the gate for me. Then, once I was through, MissyRed just had to tap on the gate using her tag again to let herself in. Really there’s no hassle working here. Hurrah!

Five stars for a system that is so user-friendly.

Swine flu

Hi MissyRed!

Someone complained about how fast rumours spread - as fast as the swine flu it seems. Why complain? Beats me! Obviously that person is oblivious to the benefits of getting news served fresh out of the oven!

What was the news? Someone passed away yesterday due to some illness not related to the flu but now everyone seems to think that that is the cause of his death.

What's in there for me on the news?

It gives me great comfort to know that we workers of this company are so unified and there's a this one special bond that's so strong amongst us till the point of us having the same thoughts - yeap Great minds think alike!

You see, this shows that people out there are secretly wishing that they would be quarantined for a week! Stay at home! Be socially responsible! No work! Well don’t you? *It’s just soooooo dangerous to be out these days*

Since the outbreak, I have been in many small group discussions and the main topic of discussion is none other than this disease!

Let’s see, we have an all ladies group talking about purchasing disposable masks, some only want blue coloured mask instead of those green ones, some think that masks with two straps are better looking than the rubber-band type, some still prefers those with a hello-kitty cartoon on it. Yes cats bring them good luck apparently. Oh don’t get started on the hand sanitizers – there’s the aloe vera, lavender vanilla, sky sea breeze and good ol’ fashion dettol to choose from. Pick one!

As for me, I just think that someone should invent a deodorant spray just for disposable masks coz once you have the mask on, there is a high chance that the mask will be glued to your face the whole day –even after lunch break. Oh the smell of nasi lemak after breakfast coupled with the smell of bleach from the toilet and some old uncle’s cologne ..all of which lingerssssssssss inside of your mask! Ah … even the sweet smelling aroma of your own morning breath!

Well …I would invent one… just that I don’t want to cause more deaths!

The next group consists of participants from our male counterparts. They shared on how to obtain a legal official medical certificate from the doctors! “Make sure you don’t bath in the morning, then you’ll look better .. as in you’ll look exactly like a sick cat!” oh and make sure you don’t eat. An empty stomach is good …for when the doctor taps on it, the right sound comes out!” tong tong tong. And make sure you practice your expressions – pinch your own tights, hold a fart, don’t breath! Then the doctor will give you an MC.

So there you go! Some piping hot news on how to get an MC ... I meant swine flu as the hot news!

Einstein's Theory of Relativity In Action

Hi Coffee-O,

If you go up to the 12th Flr of our building you'll find a floor full of Einsteins descendents, or so they think they are. Apparently, they have been hand picked by the top gun of our company to turn this company around to a high performing one.

Allow me to fill you in on some of the characteristics of these people that really erk me out:

1. When they open their mouths to answer a simple question, they try to sound like rocket scientists. You could puke at how they try to make their answers sound so profound and "high level". To a question of when did you join this company? They go into analogies that include Murphy's law.

2. Before they start their team building outdoor activities, they pump themselves up by saying how wonderfully smart they are and that they are the saviours of the company, when many of them are brand new recruits and know next to nuts about the company. Let me explain this analogy, imagine you are drowning and here comes a savious who just had his first lesson on how to float. Can he possibly save you from drowning? Go figure.

3. They break the rules when playing the team building games and pass it off as dynamic and intelligent people at work just revealing their dynamism. Beat that!

4. They have regular gatherings to celebrate each other's birthdays and play Nintendo Wii as entertainment during the party. I guess that's what "intelligent" people play during their past times as compared to dummies like me who have not even seen a Nintendo Wii.

5. They have consultants working for them up on their floor. Why? I guess their brains are too smart to produce anything understandable for normal people. Beat this: - Normal people like us don't need consultants to help us out but "smarty pants" need them. Hmmmm.......can somebody enlighten me here?

6. If you don't say something smart during your time there or don't act up enough, they throw you out of their circle back to where you came from.

7. They produce lots of "frameworks", powerpoint slides that have circles in them and charts that any normal person would have a tough time reading and understanding. But then again they are not "normal", they are the "supremos".

8. They give everyone the impression that they work late hours and sweat blood but they just steal other people's work, spruce it up a little and reuse it, calling it THEIR work. Then they just call the "normal" departments like us and demand for more.

9. They claim to deserve a better bonus that the rest of us because "they worked so hard" stealing our work and passing down their blasted instructions.

10. They have meetings that last hours comparing what colour t-shirts suit which skin colour and what fabric feels softer on their skins.

11. And last but not least, they have to have a shot of Starbucks Coffee everyday. Probably their version of "steroids" to kickstart their brains.

Oh and by the way, I was one of them for six months, I just couldn't stand their shit so I asked to transfer out. They wanted me to stay on but I couldn't for the life of me stand another day sitting among these supremos. How long can one act smart, being very normal like me. I wanted a normal life again and not pretend to speak rocket science.

Go visit them for some entertainment!

Cheerio,

Missy Red

Harrassed by other people's loan sharks.

What now?

Phone calls everyday - doesn't seem to stop.

Today I got a call from a bank asking for this particular guy, also another big mouth fella। Apparently he owes the bank some money. I'm not surprised at all. He's been going around showing off his latest acquisition- usually the latest gadget in the market. Last month was a Macbook. Middle of the month was a wireless Internet box. The month before was an MPV! ॥a handy cam.. a digicam .. and the list goes on.

He does not only buys them for himself but goes around telling everyone to buy what he bought...saying how good this and that is। Honestly he's a good salesman - every tom,dick and hasnah goes to him for advise on the latest gadget.

Well, this is the same guy who once told me about how he had to go on the streets to pick empty cans along with his kids just to put dinner on the table। His oh-so-sad stories used to be so believable.

I've also gotten phone calls from such banks asking for his friend who also owes them money। Well what they say is true -birds of the same feather flock together। And just to prove this point। I got calls from some lawyer’s office demanding to speak to his other friend. Well that fella is not so lucky, he will be declared a bankrupt if he doesn’t pay up.

When I get these kind of calls, I tell them the truth - they are simply not in the office। Some of these bankers feel that I'm trying to cover up for them. Like I have the time and interest to do ...blah

Who Moved My House?

Hi Coffee-O,

Like i mentioned earlier, I moved house last weekend and boy oh boy, I NEVER EVER want to move again. I am going to live and die in that house. Let me tell you why. I have always prided myself with being a minimalist - meaning, not much furniture, a bare minimum of cooking utensils, a few pieces of make-up, just 2 cupboards full of clothes and 3-4 pairs of shoes. By my standards, that's a minimalist compared to the amount of stuff my sisters have stashed away in their cupboards that resemble a labryinth of clothes, accessories, shoes, handbags and only God knows what else.

When moving day came, I crawled out of bed half recovered from my fever and flu to greet the movers at the door. Then i realised that I had not packed much of anything, so I told the movers to only take the big stuff like the furniture, washer and fridge, which they did. Then it dawned on me how much "other stuff" i owned. My cupboards were still full, my kitchen cabinets still bore my utensils and my store room still held my wedding gifts from seven years ago, christmas tree and decorations. Hereafter, it was 25 trips back and forth from my old house to the new carting away piece by piece of the whole mountain of "leftovers". By nightfall, I was too tired to move a muscle and a hill the size of Bukit Tinggi still stood at the old house. So i decided to call it a night and continue the next day.

By the way i forgot to mention, I was moving from 1 unit to another unit within the same condominium complex. By now, everyone in the complex knew I was shifting, even the cleaners, security guards, visitors and residents. Talk about embarrassing. My hubby, maid and I continued chipping away at the mountain the next day, with my kids tucked away at my mother's place and finally "voila" the mountain was gone. You should have seen my new house....there were things falling out the windows. I have no inkling where all these came out from and furthermore, in the home of a self-declared minimalist.

As my hubby and I stood and looked at our kitchen utensils, we realised they were stolen stuff....my hubby stole some pots and pans from his mother and I stole some from my mother. So that's where they came from. Then we eyed our kids' clothes, I thought I should keep some for memories, then I realised that I had kept ALL of them and they filled 2 large cartons. Then I looked at my books, glaring at me from the pile of junk were my varsity books and notes I had taken on my first day at work on my first job.

So it all had to go and we thought of calling Alam Flora to cart them away but we soon realised that it was not necessary. My maid suggested that we give them away to her Indonesian compadres who worked at the condo complex...I mean the cleaners and gardeners. I learnt 1 thing about networking and how strong that can be. Within seconds, a line-up of Indonesians came to my house and carted the junk away, whilst thanking us profusely. Hubby and I just stood there with our jaws open. My maid didn't even have to go out of the house to gather her compadres, just a call over the balcony to one person and the network just swung into action. I now know how Al-Qaeda was so successful. By the way, she is also the one who arranged for the lorry, again with a few deft messages here and there. Thank God for good maids, although I know some people have horror stories to tell. She worked like a machine and proved to be as strong as a man. My hubby and the security guard couldn't manage the 29" tv well but it only took her a little effort to help my hubby with the tv into the car....putting the two men to shame. Then off she went to salvage more of my stuff....i couldn't have done it without her. Then she asked us, "Any plans to shift to a bigger house?" and my hubby retorted "Only if we have 2 more people like you". As we scurried about the house looking for stuff, my "wonder maid" kept pulling out the very stuff we were looking for ....like magic....she had everything under control and we didn't.

Anyway, the drama is now over and we are pretty much settled in and discovering our new house. Like i always tell you....my life is a drama. I can identify so much now what Shakespear said when he wrote,"The world is a stage and we are all the actors in it."

For now....i am recovering from the stage play entitled "Who Moved My House?"

Missy Red

Mailboxes

Hi Coffee-O,

What a week I had, last week! First I was down with fever which lasted a couple of days and then 2 more days of sniffing (maybe due to dust ). I thought I had H1N1 and that was a scary thought. Anyway I am back now but with a cough.

I came back to fan fare from my damn boss who told me that MY work which HE vetted through was crappy। Beat that! So in other words....HIS damn work is ALSO crappy! What would you expect from a "postman" who just passes down messages. Carries my work into the big bosses office and back out with comments and passes it back to me.

Was just thinking....maybe we should put a sign which says "Mail this way!" at his cubicle. That would spell out his role better.

Missy Red

Generosity

That which a man willingly shares, he keeps.

That which he selfishly keeps, he loses.
- Anonymous

It's pure logic that the bigger and fatter a man's wallet becomes, the harder it gets for him to give generously!

No?

If you have say RM10, you won't mind giving RM5 to the beggar on the street, yes?

What if there's RM10,000 nett profit in your company's account, would you be giving RM5,000 to your one and only employee as bonus for all the long hours, hard work and sacrifices he has put in in 9 hours X 5 days X 4 weeks X 12 months?

Now only a fool would do that, you say. So, what is the basis of being generous without being labelled as a fool? Why would a fool give knowing very well that he won't lose. If you give and don't lose that's smart investment.

Giving is an action from the heart a wise Teacher once quoted. No wonder people nowadays aren't as giving as they should be. That's coz people are heartless these days. No wonder!

Earning big big money but can't even foot the bill of some roti prata for everyone and on top of that have the cheek to ask the office boy to pay for it first. What is this?

A million and one pieces

MissyRed!

Need some advise here.

What would you do if you have tons of crap-that-pays-your-monthly-bills to do, an aching knee to nurse, an early morning breakfast with the prime minister, and a million and one pieces of dirty clothes sitting in TWO-&-not-one laundry baskets?!

Oh I forgot, you have a maid!

and I forget again, I have A husband! Now that solves everything!

Maybe it's my husband who needs a maid?!

and who is my husband's maid ?

me. chi! well it's one vicious cycle. I better attend to the laundry now.

Socially Responsible

Dear MissyRed,

where have you been? missed you in our daily chat

life seems so quiet without you around

in the midst of the quietness i still hear a faint sound of whisper about making an appereance just for the sake of making an appereance despite risking passing on some germs to the rest?!

This is a story worth waiting for ...

kaki report

Dear MissyRed,

Over the weekend, I had a request from Banzaikabana to write on the topic of kaki report-ing!

Now what is that?

Are you ready? So here we go...

Scene 1 at home:

"Mak!! ah ngah used your precious pink selendang on the cat!" ...........meowwwz

Scene 2 at home:

"Makkk!! AbuSobusuk is watching TV on your white sofa while eating kariayam!... and the kuah is dripping mak.... on your white sofa!!"

Before scene 3 is up:

"Makkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!! AbuSobusuk and ah ngah is pulling my hair and just now when I was on the phone they pinched my bird!". (his pet bird la! what were you thinking!)

Then the screen goes black...empty:

And you wonder what would that little fella whose favorite word was "Mak!!" grow up to be?

Well, he is definitely not like a Toys-R-Us kid, coz those kids in the advertisement all looked so well-behaved, you know sing-songs kids are always good little kids.

AND they have small mouths! yes I'm referring to the size of the mouths.

not like that fella I just described? That fella has got a BIG. HUGE. ENORMOUS. mouth!

I wonder if there's any cure for that poor little fella?! so that he doesn't grow up to be a useless tale-teller.

As far as memory serves me right, when I was a class monitor and that was when I was 12 years mind you, I had always made a conscious effort to grab hold of the broom every morning (or most morning) to sweep the floor along with those who were scheduled to sweep the floor!

Well, I reckoned that is was what leadership by example is all about. Not just be a full time monitor whose job is to only report to the teacher but a monitor who leads!

"Teacherrrr! Abu didn't sweep the floor!!" ...

"Teacher teacher! Abu forgot to put a full-stop", while pointing towards the word "FRIDAY" written on the black board.

Don't we all know such people once upon a time?

Well we Malaysians can be a very tolerating bunch of people but please, if all it takes for someone in position to learn how to lead or probably use his or her mouth like a learned person - LEARN!

Don't just pretend for the sake of showing someone how well a job you are doing. And please.

If it's somebody you wanna impress, here's a suggestion.

Put on some stage make up and a cool shirt with green polka dots. Then to add more value to your current task, learn how to juggle balls.

AND stand in the middle of a VERY busy road! That would impress that someone!

Come on make a difference!

Cheers

Coffee-O

Passing the parcel.

MissyRed turned Green now brown,

Remember my nephew's birthday last Tuesday? I was so glad you told me about the spideman walkie-talkie. It was the perfect gift for him! As soon as I was greeted by spiderman's HEAD at the main entrance, I was smiling ear to ear.

Apparently the kids played all sorts of games that afternoon. As my niece recounted what they did, my mind did some funny tricks and came out with another version of her story ... I pictured kids venting out their frustration on an innocent pinata, kids being engrossed in throwing water balloons at each other kids climbing up to the top of the roof to mark the significance of growing up to a higher level of success the next year!

Yes that's how an adult like me would perceive simple games such as those - by reading too much in between the lines. But wait a minute, who says adults are complicated? Guess who and how old was that singer who belted out the song Complicated? I believe it was Avril whom my niece once adored.

Well, let's talk about party games. I remember passing the parcel as one of the all time favourite party games! Up till today it's an all time favourite - even amongst adults!

They play it at work!

Let's see ... this is how it works! The Bigbigboss (BBB) passes the parcel to the smallerbigboss(SBB) then the smallerbigboss passes it to the smallersmallboss(SSB) and finally the parcel lands on you - their unrecognised slave (what's your name again? the Bigbigboss would sometimes asks or just ignore you and calls you eh!). That's when the music stops. The music always stops here!! - don't you ever wonder why.

But over the years, the slave gotten smarter. He knows that the music stops but for a moment... till someone pushes the start button again.

And now as a 3 year old slave he has decided that he'll be the one pushing the start button again...

So the parcel is being passed back to the SSB and. WAIT. the music stops again. Now they change the rules. The parcel can now go back the same direction it came from. The parcel is in the hands of the slave AGAIN!

buttttttt remember the slave is now wayyyyyyyyy smarter than anyone else! So he gladly accepts the parcel AND starts tearing up the wrappers to get the GIFT!

Yes! Congratulations to the smart slave!

MissyRed be encouraged that not all shit are of zero value. Do you know that the most expensive coffee in the WORLD is made from coffee beans produced by Civet Cats through their sewage tanks! That's right! coffee made out of cat shit! ! blergh!

So, it is apparent that we do have a choice. Let's make good gold out of stinky shit like kopi Luwak and not take shit and expect shit in return like S.A.R.s!.

Then one day you'll be smiling ear to ear while others are forced to eat their own shit!

my 2 cents worth of Coffee-O