Hi Coffee-O,
If you go up to the 12th Flr of our building you'll find a floor full of Einsteins descendents, or so they think they are. Apparently, they have been hand picked by the top gun of our company to turn this company around to a high performing one.
Allow me to fill you in on some of the characteristics of these people that really erk me out:
1. When they open their mouths to answer a simple question, they try to sound like rocket scientists. You could puke at how they try to make their answers sound so profound and "high level". To a question of when did you join this company? They go into analogies that include Murphy's law.
2. Before they start their team building outdoor activities, they pump themselves up by saying how wonderfully smart they are and that they are the saviours of the company, when many of them are brand new recruits and know next to nuts about the company. Let me explain this analogy, imagine you are drowning and here comes a savious who just had his first lesson on how to float. Can he possibly save you from drowning? Go figure.
3. They break the rules when playing the team building games and pass it off as dynamic and intelligent people at work just revealing their dynamism. Beat that!
4. They have regular gatherings to celebrate each other's birthdays and play Nintendo Wii as entertainment during the party. I guess that's what "intelligent" people play during their past times as compared to dummies like me who have not even seen a Nintendo Wii.
5. They have consultants working for them up on their floor. Why? I guess their brains are too smart to produce anything understandable for normal people. Beat this: -
6. If you don't say something smart during your time there or don't act up enough, they throw you out of their circle back to where you came from.
7. They produce lots of "frameworks", powerpoint slides that have circles in them and charts that any normal person would have a tough time reading and understanding. But then again they are not "normal", they are the "supremos".
8. They give everyone the impression that they work late hours and sweat blood but they just steal other people's work, spruce it up a little and reuse it, calling it THEIR work. Then they just call the "normal" departments like us and demand for more.
9. They claim to deserve a better bonus that the rest of us because "they worked so hard" stealing our work and passing down their blasted instructions.
10. They have meetings that last hours comparing what colour t-shirts suit which skin colour and what fabric feels softer on their skins.
11. And last but not least, they have to have a shot of Starbucks Coffee everyday. Probably their version of "steroids" to kickstart their brains.
Oh and by the way, I was one of them for six months, I just couldn't stand their shit so I asked to transfer out. They wanted me to stay on but I couldn't for the life of me stand another day sitting among these supremos. How long can one act smart, being very normal like me. I wanted a normal life again and not pretend to speak rocket science.
Go visit them for some entertainment!
Cheerio,
Missy Red
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